


Ace in the Hole

by FluffyGlitterPantsDragon



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Cute Lucifer, F/M, Fluff, I am a dork, I'm bad with puns, Language, Lucifer is NOT asexual, Lucifer is a dork, Lucifer just wants to make everybody happy, No Sex, No Smut, Nudity, Sex Positive, Touching, is this fluff?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-14 12:11:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13589796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FluffyGlitterPantsDragon/pseuds/FluffyGlitterPantsDragon
Summary: Lucifer attempts to pick up an Ace. 100% Non-sexual evening ensues.





	1. Unlikely companion

**Author's Note:**

> This was something that I wanted to explore and I have no idea where it'll end up or if any actual plot will occur.
> 
> ETA: currently in the process of re-editing. This was my first Lucifer fic, and I think it needs a little work.
> 
> ETA2: Chapter six is down for now. Five may be the new official ending, but I might do a reveal series.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andy is looking for her version of a good time, Lucifer offers her one.

Andy frowned at her drink past her dark hair. She was on her second extra-dirty martini and the girls were dancing. It isn’t that she doesn’t dance. She’s just not in the mood. She’s kind of wishing they’d tried harder to get her out on the floor. Had she always been this grumpy?

The girls are nice enough to drag her out, get her mind off things. Unfortunately, the favorite place is where the owner was some kind of notorious fan servicing sex-god. According to Sherrie, the rumors were all true. She inwardly rolled her eyes.

Of all the clubs in just one square mile, they adored this one. They started out at Andy’s choice, but of course her brand-new ex was there, for whatever god-forsaken reason. So they detoured out to Lux. She blamed herself a little for not having a back up plan. 

The bone-pounding canned music took breaks for singers and piano players, one of whom apparently was the club owner. It made for an interesting mix of DJ-ing and live entertainment. It was crowded, but not ridiculous. Somehow the flow of people and activity worked itself out.

Not wanting to hang at the now-empty booth and chug a $25 martini, she schlumped over to the bar to.. Chug a $25 martini. 

The woman at bar was nice. Fiercely beautiful, she wrangled glasses and bottles and customers with easy grace. She radiated professionalism without saccharine customer service.

She made a five-dollar tip vanish into pockets Andy didn’t see. On her third pass along the bar, she side-eyed Andy’s emptying drink. “For what you’re paying, you might enjoy it more if you hold off inhaling it. We do serve shots.“

Andy chewed her garnish stick, wishing for more tangy olives. “But then I don’t get these.”

“Suit yourself.” She deftly swept the empty vessel away, palming the tip, which again, vanished into nothing. “Another martini?”

Andy sighed louder than she intended.

“Want a water?”

“Yeah, thanks. That’s probably best.”

She took care of a few drinks down the way then reappeared with a tall, narrow glass of ice water. With a new plastic garnish stick full of sweet orange slices and too-bright cherries. 

Andy laughed and overpaid for the water. “Thank you,.. ? ”She needed to find out where the other woman got those boots. They were gorgeous.

“Maze. You alone? There’s easier ways to get wasted, not that I won’t take your money.”

“Andy, nice to meet you. Nah. My girls are out there, trying to find the owner and throw themselves at him. It was supposed to-yeah, nevermind. This club is great but it’s just not my night.” The oranges were delicious. Was that a knife strapped to her thigh?

Maze nodded, “It happens.” She flicked back her long black ponytail. ‘You wouldn’t be the first who got abandoned by their fellow party-goers to try for Lucifer. He’s not always into groupies. You looking for company tonight?”

“Nah, not really.”

Maze offered a tiny plastic sword with pineapple on it from somewhere. Andy grinned and chomped on it. The creeping drunk-haze was receding with sweet fruit juices running down her throat. Falling off the bar probably would not endear her Sherrie and the others trying to snag- _ wait what? _

“The owner’s name is ‘Lucifer’? Like a stage name?” Andy leaned a little to check her lipstick in the bar mirror after the fruit rampage.

Maze sniffed and mixed up cocktails with sure movements. “Nope. He’s really-”

“Lucifer.”  _ Speak of the devil _ ...The tall, dark and lanky owner appeared at Andy’s elbow as if he arrived in a cloud of smoke. She managed not to jump only because she was still swimming a bit. He stretched his own name out like a rubber band. “I trust you’re enjoying yourself?”

She pointed her fruit sword at him, “You. Are avoiding my friends.” 

Sherrie was right about one thing, he was nice to look at. Maze lifted an eyebrow at the two of them and stepped away to do more drink orders. Well, she couldn’t hog Maze’ attention all night if she was switching to water.

He tilted his head toward the dance floor, black hair swept back and perfectly in place, save a stray curl. “On purpose. Literally throwing oneself at another person works with trapeze artists. Me? Less often."

“She didn’t.”  _ Oh my god. _

“She did.”

Wincing, “I guess I’m not too surprised. I hope you didn’t throw my ride out.” Andy liked his accent. She easily worked out why all her non-gay girlfriends wanted to jump him. All dark and mystery and whatnot. ‘Lucifer’ seemed weirdly interested in her. Maybe he just checked on all his patrons. Right. Her sexy red dress with the thigh slit had nothing to do with it. She threw a glance back to see if Maze was gone. She was. Darn.

He straightened his jacket silk pocket thing. “No damage done. Her actions were perfectly understandable, if overly enthusiastic. She may have escaped out the door, however, after she...didn’t get what she wanted. Luckily for me, I found her very lovely friend here.” He leaned on the bar edge, one elbow up. 

_ Yay.  _ She put on her ‘not impressed’ face. “Sherrie is.. impulsive, but she’s my best friend. I guess I’ll have to Uber home or track her down.” She picked that moment with spectacularly bad timing, to suck a maraschino cherry off the end of her tiny sword. 

His eyes positively lit up.  _ Oops. _ “If you want to  _ stay _ , I’m sure we can figure out transportation for you later.” He dripped sexuality. A million promises writhed in his low voice. Sex-god indeed.

Andy crushed the cherry in her teeth. “I’m flattered, but I think I’ll just wrap up my rough night and head out. No offense.”

He straightened. “I fear I’ve given you a bad impression. Let me buy you a drink and properly introduce myself. Lucifer Morningstar. Can we start over?” He offered his hand but his eyes read puzzlement.

She let him have it and smiled a little. He  _ was _ charming. And polite. “I’m Andy. I could go for a ginger ale. I already hit your drinks a little too hard.”

He leaned in a little closer, into her space, eyes dark and inviting. “Is there anything other than just a drink I could provide for you, Andy?” Either he was strangely compelling or she still this side of tipsy. 

Well, he didn’t make fun of her name. She should do him the same courtesy. “I doubt it.”

He laid a finger against his face and tried again. “Is there nothing you truly desire?” She couldn’t seem to tear her eyes off his. Deep and dark and endless and ageless. She felt her own flash fire in annoyance.

Andy broke her sword in one hand. “I desire a night without expectations.” She blinked and dropped the small plastic pieces in her empty water glass with the ice and orange rinds.

His face echoed her blink and pass of surprise. The spell broke. “Do you mind elaborating?”

Another teaching moment. Awesome. “I broke it off with a guy recently. Today. He couldn’t understand or cope with that I don’t want…”She waved a hand. “...sexual intimacy, after months of saying he was fine with that kind of relationship.” She snorted. “I’m sure I’m not who you’re looking to spend tonight with.”

A thousand things worked across Lucifer’s face and he didn’t move a muscle. The second passed. He leaned his jaw on a fist and looked at her curiously. “Not tonight, or, ever?” Andy nodded sharply. Pity she expected to see wasn’t there. “I’m sorry you had a terrible companion. Well rid of, if you ask me.”

“Really? I didn’t think you’d be sympathetic.” Andy sipped on the soda that Maze had replaced her glass with. She even put a slice of sugared ginger root on the rim. 

Lucifer deliberately dialed back the near-physical cloud of sexual aura he had going on. He made a face.

“I abhor liars. He wasted your time insisting he was compatible when he clearly wasn’t. There’s one thing I’m big on it’s established boundaries. Well,” He smiled at something in his head “Mostly. I entertain a fair number of unhappy spouses.” He nodded toward the elevator. “Anyone who comes upstairs with me does so because they want it. May I ask if Andy is short for Andrea…?”

“You may, but only because I’m starting to like you. Cassandra, Call me ‘Cassie’ and I'm leaving right now.” 

He smiled, and it reached his eyes. Sex-god or not, he hadn’t made a single snide comment about her revealing low-cut dress, makeup, hair, anything. He hadn’t suggested he could change her-yet-which was refreshing. He’s probably quite nice to look at under those layers of charcoal designer suit. Oh well.

“Anyway, I’m keeping you from finding your own evening companionship. I appreciate your interest, even if it's misplaced.” It was half-true. Something she said too often that rolled off the tongue without thought.

Lucifer was clearly thinking hard about something. He came to a decision and nodded to himself, still smiling.

“Cassandra, the woman who was never believed. Well, Andy, would you entertain me if I asked you to accompany me for an entirely non-sexual visit to my flat?”

She nearly blew ginger ale out her nose. Ow. “You don’t want.. ?”

“What I want is for you to enjoy your evening here, preferably in my company. As it happens, I’m an excellent host. Would you be up for endlessly being flirted with, firm in the knowledge that absolutely nothing will happen of that nature? Or we can skip that kind of pressure all together.” He grinned widely, dark brown eyes glittering under the club lights.

He was already sure she was coming up. Hmm.

“Supposing I turn you down?”

Now he really did look hurt. “Then I’m sorry for the intrusion, and I’ll find my companionship elsewhere.” He waggled a slender finger. “But  _ not _ with Sherrie, assuming your friend hasn’t fled the building.”

Oh god. If she does ‘go upstairs’, she’ll never hear the end of it from Sherrie. “You don’t get turned away often do you?”

“Rarely. There’s one woman in particular who is completely immune to my many charms.” He one-shoulder shrugged. “She’s an excellent friend. Terrible taste in husbands, but at least she unhitched that particular buggy.”

Continuing, “I can point out a few previous partners who are here tonight if you want to ask them about my manners. I can make my rounds, and return in a bit. Uhmm. That man with the shocking red hair-completely natural, by the way-and those two women, two of the three ‘Brittanys’ that come ‘round. Yes, they’re all named Brittany.”

He was determined. She’s kind of dying to know if he always pointed out references. Or always had some available. She glanced at her phone - yup, Sherrie and the others were out and asking if she wants to walk three bars down and where was she anyway?

She didn’t doubt his earnestness.  _ Handsome devil _ . “I’m told I give excellent back rubs.”

“As do I! Touching is on the table then?” he grinned, no longer leaning into her space, but radiating hopefulness. “I have an array of oils and lotions, or if you prefer, I work equally well over clothing. Well, maybe not ‘equally’, but I can still provide a good rub.” He practically  _ bounced _ .

She laughed. She heard the innuendo but without heat behind it. And those hands looked extremely capable. “That sounds like the start of a plan.”

“Is it what you want?” Apparently he can get all the ass he desires, one night off from that shouldn’t seem like too much to ask. Still…

Andy restrained herself from literally pulling her long hair out. “What I want is to prance around your apartment completely naked without expectation of sex. I like touching. I like intimacy. I do back rubs with my friends, but when I go on dates, as soon as any kind of touching starts, they’re all like ‘oh! I guess you aren’t REALLY an ace, are you? Like I have to be frozen solid or something.” 

She popped the ginger slice in her mouth and chewed. “Before you start, yes, I know I’m dating the wrong people. Clearly.” She blew a curl of hair out of her face and downed the rest of the fizzy drink. Apparently there’s such thing as top-shelf ginger ale.

He was undeterred. “Andy, I would adore seeing you in your birthday suit, even if I can’t do anything about it. An unrestrained woman is a beautiful thing.“ Her unlikely companion seemed to be making a mental checklist.”Favorite relaxing scent?”

“Orange-vanilla, or lavender. That kind of thing.”

Lucifer nodded, rapped the bar top and focused on Andy with laser-like intensity. “What do you say you give me ten minute head start to my penthouse and head up? I just need to make a sweep for stray sex toys laying about. Chat with Maze for a bit. If you don’t make an arrival by say, 20 minutes, I’ll assume you’ve changed your mind and I’ll just text the Brittanys.” 

With that, he exited her personal bubble. He touched a few elbows, said a few things to people, on his way to the elevator and was gone. Just like that. 

Maze was back. She most definitely did not have visible pockets. “Any luck?”

Andy glanced up at the elevator indicator. “I think so. Hey, where do you buy your boots?”


	2. Lion's Den

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andy finds out the Devil is an honorable man. Mostly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if my biblical references are too subtle.

Fully Understanding the shit storm she was unleashing on herself, she texted Sherrie. With predictable results.

S: YOU ARE NOT.. I HATE YOU

A: I just wanted to send you a headsup, in case. I dunno. I vanish or something.

S: I STILL HATE YOU. FOREVER. Send me a pic of him naked

A: He won’t BE naked.

S: McKenna hates you too. Get him naked and send me a photo

S: For real though, I know a girl with ‘experience’. You’ll have a great time.

A: (sigh)

S: Some kind of great time.

S: OMG. TELL HIM I’M SORRY SERIOUSLY

A: Okay okay. But no photos. I think my Instagram followers would lose their collective minds. And don’t tell anyone else. I’ll never convince anyone I’m asexual ever again. This better be worth not dating for a year.

S: YES

S: SNDNUDES!!!!

Andy laughed and turned her phone to silent as the elevator doors opened. Dropping the phone in her clutch, she considered what she’d gotten herself into. She wasn’t worried  _ per se _ , she knew the danger of trusting, well, anyone really without caution. She didn’t usually fall prey to ‘there’s just something about this person’ given her orientation took most of that away. She’d seen it lead to both joy and heartbreak with her friends, but had no real internal guidance on that account. Not wanting to get laid did interesting things to one’s personal radar.

Which made her liking of Lucifer all that much more weird, even to herself.

A gentle wafting of mild, fresh citrus collected around her through the opening doors. A few scented candles were lit but it wasn’t overwhelming. The penthouse, being a penthouse, was impressive. A few musical key strokes were fading off with arrival of the elevator.

She half expected shag carpet and disco balls and turned-down intimate lighting. Instead it was wall to wall dark elegance. The lights were not dimmed.

A beautiful dark wood piano stood as a centerpiece with a full-size stocked bar nearby. Next to the couch but still slightly tucked out of the way, stood an honest-to-Bast massage table. Portable, but sturdy looking, with clean sheets draped on and fluffy white towels folded up nearby.

Huh.

Absolutely no sex toys were lying around.

“Andy! I’m so glad you decided to join me!” Defying sex-god expectations, Lucifer had only shed his vest and jacket, still wearing his certainly-tailored heather grey button up with cuffs rolled back. He’d stepped out of his shoes but still wore stylish trousers that went with the jacket and black socks. He maintained his devilish smile, with a relaxed posture and seated at the piano. He’d fixed his hair from the earlier run-in with her friend.

Andy let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. She didn’t really know what to expect, but him still wearing clothes was a good sign. Her gut was doing okay so far on the judgement call.

Lucifer stood and offered a stemmed glass of ice water, holding his own. The crystal contained speared frozen grapes on long skewers.

She accepted the glass and paused when he raised his slightly. “To a night of mutual companionship and absolutely no sex whatsoever.”

She smiled, this time easily. “Thank you.” She could either take him at his word or be on edge the whole night. She chose to relax.

Without the crowded club atmosphere, his magnetism was palpable. He radiated energy and health. Did he decorate the place himself, or pick the persona based on the apartment when he bought the place?

Sherrie’s panties would have been on the floor in the elevator. Andy felt only a little bad that she was up here instead of her best friend.

She tapped her glass to his and sipped. “Soooo, what’s first?”

“The very first thing I need to know is shall you wish to be hopelessly flirted with or if I should dial it back to ‘professional masseuse’? I’m quite happy doing either, but I rather hope you approve of my attempting, and failing to get into your pants all night.” He actually waggled his eyebrows. It was adorable.

She smiled. “Let’s start with the shameless flirting and I’ll tell you if I get uncomfortable. You know, I don’t think I’ve actually heard you say a suggestive thing so far. I mean, I can believe you get people into bed on looks alone…”

“On a good night, multiple. This place has seen quite a number of parties.” Lucifer set down his glass, clasped his hands then grinned over them. His voice dropped, “Now, darling, what do I have to do to get you out of that dress?”

Andy smiled back. Cranked straight up to eleven, eh? “Well, you can start by letting me take off these strappy heels. I've been walking in them all night."

“I’m acquainted with bindings and restraints in many forms, if you’ll allow me?”

“You’re offering to touch my gross and sweaty shoes?” She set down her glass.

“I’ll take off whatever you let me.”

"Me or you?"

"Just say the word."

She gave a wry grin and pointed. "Shoes first."

Lucifer sank into one end of the leather couch and looked hopeful, patting his knee. Andy gave him an exaggerated roll of her eyes and seated herself, propping her pointy clad feet carefully in his lap. She pulled the skirt of her dress down so she wouldn’t flash him. It was a little awkward but not uncomfortable. "Do you do this for all your lady friends?"

"Just ones looking for something...different. You might be surprised how many kinks don't even involve an orgasm."

Wasting no time, he ran his finger under the nearest loop, between strap and skin, popping the first tiny gold buckle. “Shame to keep these lovely soles cooped up, but I love your style.” His hands were smooth and warm, one supporting her ankle, holding a foot up, the other undoing the loops, one at a time. It occurred to her that he was managing tiny tight closures one-handed. Good lord.

"How's that about orgasms?" She picked up his last thread.

"Got any Dom/Sub associates? Not naming names, but there's this woman friend of mine who is paid handsomely to.. discipline her clients. I didn't believe her at first, but she doesn't have sex with them. Wouldn't dream of it. Has a boyfriend." Lucifer hooked an elegant finger under a narrow strap and rubbed her arch, heels still on. 

Andy allowed herself to close her eyes and enjoy the attention, tilting her head back. The heels were her favorite but a pain in the ass to get on. They cost a months rent and looked like it too. She cracked one eye at him “If you pull a strap too hard and stretch it, I won’t be happy with you.”

Lucifer “My dear, I never use more strength than required. Unless you want me to.” The first devil-red shoe slipped off, far easier than her slightly throbbing foot would have suggested.

From somewhere off the table behind him, he whipped out a pristine white, cool, damp cloth and began by touching her shin with barely any pressure. Testing her sensitivity. 

He had it wrapped between his thumbs and her skin, applying increasing pressure down her leg, sweeping from front to back. Hands traveled back to the knee, coaxing muscles into straight lines on either side of her shin bone. Thumbs worked back around to the achilles tendon, drawing deep circles behind the ankle bones. Finally, working down to her toes he cleaned off the bottom of her foot with slow, measured motions.

That earned him a few legit small moans. The kind you give a really lovely desert.

He was still smiling but said nothing, gradually pressing harder and finished with both hands around her calf, pulling the washcloth all the way down to her painted toes and off. “I see you got a pedicure for me, guessing my weakness for the well-groomed and stylish.” Lucifer propped her foot on his thigh, giving her space to stretch it.

The cloth disappeared and he started on her other shoe. 

Because of course he could tell she got it done today. She smirked, “Sure, and I wore red today just for the devil himself.”

“Why thank you, love.” He responded with absolutely no sarcasm.

Andy sank a little lower into the couch. “If all I get out of this is a fantastic foot rub, I’m already calling it a night well spent. I’m doing your feet next.”

“Patience, I have a great deal more rubbing to do.” He repeated slowly taking apart the buckles on the other foot, getting everything undone a bit at a time. Straps slid through metal counterparts with barely a tug. He snaked the last glossy patent leather strip out of its buckle with no more haste than the first. The ball of her foot let go of the insole with some stickiness.

“Playing piano must do amazing things for your hands. Do you play often?”

“Daily. Piano too. It's one of my favorite instruments."

"Harps being your least?"

"Kazoos."

Eventually, Lucifer joined the other shoe to its mate on the floor and got to work on her with a new cool cloth. Lightly, he worked it in soft circular motions under both of his thumbs, starting above her ankles and massaging down to the tips of her toes. The warmth of his hands bled through the cool of the cloth. “You have lovely arches. If you were anyone else here, I’d be licking them.” He finished as with the first, wrapping the pleasantly cool washcloth around her calf with both hands and pressing all the way down, drawing away stress. 

Andy cracked her eye again, barely. “Nope. I mean, yes, I’m sure you would. Also, ew.”

Lucifer chuckled. “You might be immune to my sexual overtures, but I must find some way to have you moaning my name.”

“HA. OH!”

He’d managed to work an oil into his palms without her noticing and was attacking the ball of her first foot with strong hands. A lovely dessert indeed. She melded into the couch. “GOOD spot.” First the cloth and now oil? She was keeping him.

Hands worked short tight muscles on the bottom of each foot, soothing knots and smoothing tension everywhere he went. He went no higher than her knees, alternately digging in with all digits and easing off to just a bare tickle. Andy mumbled something. She thinks.

“What’s that, love?” He slides thumbs down the front of each shin, under her ankles and to the toes of one foot, gently pulling out each at a time with just a bit of pressure. Every one of her toe joints pop and crack loose under his fingers, flooding her feet with relief and fresh circulation. He repeats the procedure with the other side and she stretches all her toes. 

Her eyes fluttered open, feeling like she woke up from a fantastic nap. She points in the general direction she thinks the table is. “I’m going to strip and get on that table. And then later you’re going to strip and I’m absolutely returning this favor. Because you have to teach me some of this.”

He patted a foot gamely. “Well, you’ll have to get up for that, dear Andy. Unless you want assistance?”

She extends her body, splaying out her toes and wiggling them with contentment. “Okay, you’re right. Gonna move. Maybe.” She gathered herself, gratefully taking his hand and getting pulled up. “Yes, I need help with the zipper on this thing too? My boobs could use some breathing space.”

Lucifer pulled her hair carefully out of the way of the back zipper, running his fingers lightly down her scalp, taking a little more time than necessary. “Do you need a robe? Or are you going to make good on your earlier stated desire?”

Andy held up the front of her dress, turning back around, A body massage was best done naked, in her opinion, but… “I’ll meet you halfway on that.” She stepped toward the table, back to him again, digging her toes into the soft rug some steps between them. The dress had a built-in bra so when she dropped it, all she had left was her matching satin panties.

Lucifer sucked in his breath appreciatively. “Cassandra, darling, everything you’re wearing - or not - belongs on my floor on a nightly basis.”

She didn’t suppress her smile as she got under the tables top cover, face down. “I didn’t know the devil was into wearing ladies underwear, but if you want it, you can have it.”

Said devil barked a laugh, unglued himself from the couch, bringing over the bottle of oil. “I could never wear it as well as you do. I have to tell you that your ass is going to be taking up residence in my fantasies for the foreseeable future.”

“As long as I’m not present for it, may my ass inspire you for years to come.”

“Oh, it will. I hope I get to see your lovely breasts at some point too.”

He started by pressing his hands into her covered body, smoothing the barely scented clean cloth down over her skin.

She could feel his heat through the fabric layer, leaving a light tingle down her spine. Walking down her body, he only took a few seconds to trace the outline of her underwear, purring in his throat, then down her legs, feet, toes and all the way back up to her shoulders and neck, circling the massage table like a lion. Lucifer stopped at her head and ran his fingers through her hair, gathering up her long tresses and sweeping them to one side.

She found herself feeling rather pleased with her effect on him. He had to have bedded hundreds of women and men, yet touched her like a man dying in the desert, watching a mirage he can’t have. Well, can’t fuck, she amended.

He turned down the top cover away from her shoulders, and started on her neck from over her head. Fingers and thumbs swept under the line of the sheet, up her spine and into her hair, earning him a gratified groan. He threaded his fingers to the top of her head, moving back down to the hairline. Lucifer pressed thumbs along either side of her atlas bone, in exquisitely slow circles.

The massages she’s had have been woefully deficient in attention to her scalp. 

“Are we getting into working my name into those gorgeous sounds you’re making, Andy?”

She shifted her head slightly to speak. “Mmmmmmmmm. Not yet. I try not to make weird noises during a massage I pay for, but in this case, I might let myself go a little.”

He clucked. “Please feel free. I intend to earn them.” working into the back of her skull, he caressed the backs of her ears, getting another shiver out of her. Hands clearly used to many bodies, he danced over her shoulder blades, slipping them under the sheet and down the backs of her ribs. He brushed this tips of his fingers just barely along the muscles that give way to her the sides of her breasts, reaching up to fold the sheet down more. “You’ll tell me if I cross any lines? If you don’t I might push my luck.”

Andy chuckled. “You can rub my boobs, but it does nothing ‘for me’. They’re mostly fat anyway, so I doubt it’d help me relax. My ass though, that you seem to like, does an awful lot of work.”

Lucifer made a noise in his throat. His voice was low and husky. “It’s certainly doing a lot for me.” he turned the sheets all the way down to the bare top edge of her underwear, starting on her middle back from the side of the table.

She couldn’t resist peeking at his form. “Is it now? It doesn’t look like it.”

He laughed again. “I didn’t think you’d appreciate ‘all’ of my attention when you came up, So I took care of...some things.” He passed lightly over her kidneys, spreading oiled hands over her lower back and radiating his warmth into her skin. “Not to mention hanging around with a hard dick all night just isn’t comfortable.”

“Really? Even with the potential opposing evening of Brittany-fest? Ohhh, that’s a sore spot.”

He immediately let up pressure. “I told you, I enjoy doing things for people. By the time the Brittany’s recovered from my lavish attentions- if they recover before morning - I’d be well ready again. Besides my toy chest, I’m capable with tongue and hands.”

“Confident fucker, aren’t you?”

He actually snorted “Nicely done. The sore spot alright?”

Andy was out of responses for the moment, soaking up the warmth and slowly sinking further into the table. 

sinking further into the table. 


	3. More rubbing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer gets down to business

Lucifer laid hot palms over the top of her hips then moved back up her shoulders and upper arms. “Have I rendered you speechless, darling?”

“Mmmffng”

She somehow knew he smiled for a second, and then dipped into ‘work mode’. 

Back at her neck, he got his fingers under her collar bones, thumbs over shoulders and walking hands to spine. She sense, rather than saw his presence over her head, taut forearms and wonderfully warm fingers spreading like wings over the tops of her shoulders. When he used his weight on a knot, it wasn’t trapping or confining, just pure concentration. 

He dragged long fingers against skin without catching or pinching. Oil between his hands and her back made the whole thing divine. She stopped tracking where his body was, dropped awareness of how far afield his hands went, which was hardly any even now. She was as seduced as she ever could be. She knew she was in a safe place. With the Devil of all things.

He took his time, up and down each arm. Found matching tight areas on her upper arms and dug in. He got to her right hand, expertly spreading and separating her fingers with his own and digging both thumbs into her palm and rubbing in alternating and overlapping circles. Pressing between thumb and forefinger with his thumb and knuckles brought fresh circulation to hands and fingers. 

For some reason he hadn’t removed his onyx ring but it didn’t feel like it was in the way. She only noticed it was still there when it touched her palm. Lucifer wrapped hot hands around her wrist and worked the bones until tiny knots between them came loose. The underside of her entire right forearm tingled. His thumbs worked the root of hers until it pleasantly hurt, then gave. With sure movements, he popped each of her fingers in turn at every knuckle.

She groaned with releasing knots she didn’t know she had. By the time he got down to her left hand and repeated the entire process, she was senseless and definitely making noises she didn’t provide any previous masseuses.

It was just  possible he was so focused on his work he didn’t notice the sounds she made. 

If he were a professional, she’d never go anywhere else for massages again. She might have to find a way to talk him into buying a massage office to go with the club. Finished with both hands, he drew her attention with a light tap to the shoulder.

“I’m going to pull your shoulders back by your arms, all right? You might come up off the table.” Andy made a sound of assent. He fully wrapped each of his warm hands around her forearms, braced his hip against the table edge and  _ pulled. _

“Oh God..” The stretch straightened the tissue across the top of her chest, and something that needed very much to give, did so with an audible  _ POP _ .

Lucifer rolled his eyes. “I know I say this often, but my dad had nothing to do with this little adventure. I guess other than making me, I suppose.” He let her back down to the table slowly, feeling her ribs.

When she was capable of speaking again, she had to ask, “Why ‘Lucifer?’”

He scoffed. “Why’d your parents go with an old name of a woman who made true predictions no one believed? Who knows why Dad does anything?”

She snorted. He didn’t give up, did he?

He continued, “If I knew that, I’d have the answer to life, the universe and everything.”

“42.”

“Yes, but what’s the question?”

“Ask your father.”

“I’d sooner return to Hell than talk to Him again.” Lucifer huffed and smoothed out a particularly stubborn knot on her hip. Andy decided she liked being able to vocally respond to this kind of stimulus with less restrained appreciative noises. “Not that He talks to anyone directly anymore. Not even my brothers.”

“If you rub everyone this way, I can see why people don’t care about the whole Satan persona.”

“Love, I rub everyone in far, far more ways than you can imagine. Or actually desire to, come to think of it. Alright, back to the lovely task at hand. Will you be insisting on keeping your underthings off my floor, or wouldn’t you rather have me work around the thin bit of satin clinging to that lovely ass of yours?”

“I think that’s the longest sentence ever used to ask if I want to ditch my panties”

“Did it work?”

“Yup.”

“Can I help? I can without using my hands.”

“Nope.” She liked the banter, but wasn’t going to let him get away with anything more ‘sexy’ than she wanted him to. And any man (or woman) removing them for her was just a little too much. 

She got them off, unceremoniously dropping them on the rug with as little show as possible, considering she was now naked. 

Lucifer immediately swooped, stuffing them in his trousers pocket and grinned, deliberately baiting her.

“I hope you have a replacement for those for me.”

“You said I could have them if I liked them, remember?”

“You got me there. If you decide to wear them, for the love of.. All that’s unholy, do not tell me.”

Lucifer wiggled his hips. “I said I wouldn’t look as good as you. I didn’t say I didn’t look GOOD.”

She lost it. Andy laughed so hard she had tears welling up and threatening her makeup. 

She dabbed the corners of her eyes with the sheet. “Lucifer, I swear to - uh, you, I won’t ask about your name again if you promise to stop talking about my underwear. Dammit, give me one of those towels.” 

He obediently brought over a new cloth while wearing a shit-eating grin. “I have no problem talking about my sordid past. It’s a long, long story. If you skip the part where you assume I’m actually not the Devil and just making it up, talking about it is a lot easier.” 

Andy took it and wiped at her eyeliner and mascara. “Ugh, did I get it or do I look like a rabid raccoon?”

“May I?”

Lucifer cleaned around her eyes, carefully balancing the smudge.“I’ve got some black eyeliner in the bathroom if you want to touch up. Good brand.” His face was close to hers, judging the clean-up job. He did, in fact, have his own liner, not enough to be gaudy. It made the deep brown in his eyes stand out. He stepped away to deposit the cloth wherever the others went.

“Get back here and work on my ass.” She lay down on her stomach, leaving the sheets to the side.

Lucifer put on his American accent. “Yes ma’am.”

“Oh my- Never do that again. Ever.”

“Yes, mum.”

“Or that.”

Lucifer was back at the table but not quite back in ‘work mode’. “Where did we leave off, darling?” He quite deliberately set his hand on the small of her back. And left it there like she was a railing. “I believe I was doing something you were very much enjoying. What was it?”

Andy growled at him. “You weren’t finished rubbing my ass.”

“Ah, but I don’t think I’d even started.” He moved his hands to either side of her low hips and pressed his thumbs into the largest muscles. “Oh dear, what have you been doing with that? You’re so  _ tight.” _

She hummed. “No more talking. Just doing.”

“That’s right, I still have more work to do to get a certain something out of you. Right then.” He put his freshly re-oiled and flexible hands to work, rotating his wrists and thumbs into her hips. His spread hands were wide enough to get a grip just shy of hip bones. Palms slid from tailbone to low back, trailing his unending heat. Fingertips found solid knots around her tailbone and really  _ pressed _ , smoothing out towards opposite hips. 

Her noises were purely involuntary. This was  _ not _ something she’d had done before, professionally or otherwise. Even the massages she’d paid for rarely concentrated properly on her butt.

“That’s more like it.” He got a better angle and used his weight and height to really get into her glutes. Lucifer edged back into ‘work mode’, getting into her hamstrings, calves and working back up where thigh crease became ass, not one digit straying into parts unknown. He found her mirror knots just south of her ‘sit bones’ and went after them with a vengeance.  _ That _ earned him a gasp and groan.

“I don’t think I’ve had a lovely naked lady in my place before with this much touching and no sex.”

“I figure my ass is payoff enough for you. And panties.”

“Can’t argue with that.”

Patient, circular motions and evenly applied pressures got the stubborn things to break apart. Renewed blood flow flushed all the way down to her toes. “Mmm.mm. ’ifer.. “

She was sure he grinned at her back. 

“Close enough. How’s that then? Normally I’d extend the offer to your entire front as well.. “   
  


“I think I’d pass out entirely.”

“I don’t particularly mind lovely naked ladies sleeping about my flat, but usually it’s from a different set of actions. If you really can’t move, I insist you taking my bed or the guest.”

“Nuh-uh. You still need to strip. Give me a minute. And a robe.”

“Yes, mum”

Andy threw a pillow at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't think I'd end up writing 20 pages of text about massages, but here we are.


	4. It's the fluff that never ends, it goes on and on my friends.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You guessed it. Fluff-tasm.

Andy shrugged into a soft black silk robe as Lucifer got out of his silk shirt. 

She remembered something. “Hey, Sherrie wants a nude photo of you, do you mind if we send her a few?”

He perked up. “Oh, definitely! What are we going for? Artistic or full monty?”

“Anything that’ll make her drop her phone. How about a profile in front of your piano?”

“Might as well keep the theme for tonight and stay mostly tasteful. I don’t get why humans think hinting at beauty is sexier than just seeing everything, but it’s what they seem to like.” He shucked off the shirt and hung it over a chair.

“We all want what we can’t have. Much more than when it’s within reach.”

“Well, I’m within reach of nearly everyone, and I’m pretty well wanted.” He stepped out of his trousers and socks, hanging them with the shirt. He’d make a fine nude artist model.

Andy unlocked her phone and took a few candids. Sherrie might like them more than a posed shot, actually. “Obviously you’re wealthy. Isn’t there something you want you can’t have?”

Lucifer hooked his thumbs into his boxers and paused. He seemed to almost physically discard a glib answer. “For Dad to stop interfering in my life would be nice, but that doesn’t seem like it’s going to end any time soon. I have this friend who I thought I had a close relationship with, but it turns out He was behind all that too.”

Andy looked up from the camera app. “Your dad?”

“The All-Father?” he waved vaguely and slid off the black silk boxers. “How’s this over here?” He sat on the piano bench, hands clasped ‘artistically’ over his groin.

“Oh, she is going to lose her shit. Do you want to see?”

“Quite all right, I have loads of others if she wants a selection.”

Andy was getting used to this raising of eyebrows at his comments thing. “And, sent. And turned off. I really don’t want to hear this thing buzzing for the rest of the night.” She returned the phone to the clutch. “Your dad sounds like a pain in the ass.”

He nodded earnestly. “Oh goodness, yes. I’m surprised so many humans still worship him.”

He really wasn’t going to give that up, was he? Well, he wasn’t wrong, if 80% of the bible was anything to go by on ‘his dad’s’ asshole factor.

“So, no pointed tail, huh?”

Lucifer sighed dramatically. “How many times-? No, no tail, no horns, no hooves, no claws.”

“No great leathery wings?”

“Wings, yes, leathery no. I did start out an angel. Of the Arch variety. And I used to be able to call up my “Hell” visage but it’s not working lately. Quite frustrating. So, how do you want me?” 

“Let’s start face down. Flapping around all day must give your back a workout.”

“Oh, right, Well, I don’t actually fly very much, actually try not to use them at all. I should warn you they might unfurl of their own accord. The things pop out at the darndest times. Luckily, it’s only happened when the human in question was inclined to believe they were part of a costume or ‘cosplay’. I have to look that up at some point.”

Andy oiled up her hands “It’s basically the same thing - purists will say they’re totally different, but it’s really just making or getting an outfit to look like someone.” she rubbed her hands together, warming them. “Really though, the ‘Devil” options range far and wide. Hey, does God have a great white fluffy beard?”

He got comfortable on the table. “...I suppose if He wanted to.”

His back was unsurprisingly free of either wings or extra bones. She started where he started, leaning straight over his head and got her fingers into the base of his skull at the hairline. “This part is the stuff I already know how to do pretty well. I haven’t had a lot of practice with legs or extremities. Or wings.”

“Your fingers are lovely. I don’t suppose you want to give yourself a little more freedom to move about?”

The periodic rolling of the eyes continues. “I’m good. Maybe later.” Andy ran her thumbs down his neck and spine. “Are my hands cold?”

“They’ll warm up soon.”

He was pretty hot under her hands to begin with. She spread her fingers, sweeping his back and letting his natural body temperature warm her to her wrists before really digging in. He had a very nice build. “Do you do yoga? I’m not finding a lot of knots, mostly tension.”

He vibrated a little in a chuckle. “No, I get other kinds of exercise.”

“Not that, silly. You look like you take care of yourself. Most my friends have knots in particular places like lower back or neck. You’re just tense and tight.”

Lucifer hummed under her fingertips. Being able to touch, and help, people in a professional setting was almost enough to make her take this path as a trade. “Call it stress, I suppose?”

She dug into him in companionable silence for several minutes, imitating his large and small circles, remembering some of her tricks along the way-the ones she didn’t get to pull out very often. She had to lean far over his head to get to his lower back then walked her fingertips up to his neck To her delight, he shivered pleasantly. “I am so stealing that.”

“Hey, apparently I can teach the Devil a few things too.”

He chuckled warmly. “I don’t get to do this part very often. I hate to admit it, but this is turning into a nice variation on my usual night activities. Not that I'm canceling the scheduled orgy this weekend, mind you.”

“You have to plan them? Aren’t orgies supposed to spontaneously break out, with college girls battling each other with feather pillows?”

“Well, see, first you have to get the college girls, boys and whomever all in one place, And then you have to make sure the bi and gay ones know not to bother the straight ones. It helps to have a variety of protective barriers scattered around in accessible containers. I keep multi-colored wristbands they can grab on the bar to use as types-of-desired-sex indicators. And then there’s the party favors that have to be ordered ahead of time. Oh! Does Sherrie do orgies?”

Andy snorted. “I.. actually don’t know.”

“Find out, I have a few slots open.”

You have all these women up here-”

“And men.”

“And slash or men, and they don’t do massages for you?”

“My.. as Chloe calls it ‘superpower’ of inflaming desires usually takes the straight up carnal route. No pun intended. It’s rather fun for me too.”

She got down to his right hand and paused. 

“Intertwine your fingers with mine, your little finger on the outside, yes, pull up, opening my palm as far as you can, Mmmmmmm, yes, now press hard with your thumbs, large circles, offset.”

She bit her lip and hit a good rhythm, smiling to herself when his whole frame relaxed into the table top. He really did have a great looking body. Andy had a small pang of regret that she couldn’t get turned on by him, but it was a feeling she was familiar with by now. The upside to all this is she was having a great night and heck, she was providing him something his numerous lovers either couldn’t or wouldn’t. 

The added upside of him not grabbing her was cake too. She wondered if he was a hugger.

Inch by inch, Lucifer's muscles and knots smoothed out and let go under her touch. She didn’t have the upper body strength, or height, to do the arm-pull thing, but he talked her through bending the knee back to get a quad stretch, and giving what she felt was a darn good foot rub in exchange for earlier. She put his tips to use and let her work in silence on his other foot.

She finished on his arches then ran just her bare fingertips with absolutely no pressure up his back, starting from his toes. He hadn’t made any noises in several minutes and she frowned. She poked his shoulder very lightly,

He was sleeping.


	5. The fluff winds down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Wild Chloe Appears!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I have no idea what I'm doing. Hurt/Comfort is probably coming though. 
> 
> ETA: re-edited up to this point so far! woot!

 

 

The morning started pleasantly. The night before, Lucifer woke up again after she poked him, startled at his own reaction. By the time they were done exchanging massages and notes on techniques, the candles burned low and it was 4 in the morning. He insisted she take the guest bedroom. True to his word, he provided panties to sleep in. She declined a sleep set. 

She woke up a few hours later in a strange, comfortable bed and more relaxed than she had been in years. Then remembered she’d be going home in a ‘Walk of shame’. She always hated that phrase. 

Andy smelled pancakes. No robes appeared to be around the room, so she just strolled out, much to Lucifer’s appreciation. He was grinning at her like she hadn’t already spent the night  in his apartment mostly or completely naked.

“Good morning, dear. Breakfast? I have blueberry compote on pancakes.”

She stretched her arms over her head, taking a moment to just be looked at and enjoy it. “Good morning, Lord of Hell. Did you even sleep?”

“Ex-Lord. Didn’t I mention I retired?”

“Don’t recall that part coming up, but I could be wrong.” She perched herself at the counter, smiling, not-hungover and with no plans for the weekend. Today was going to be good.

She pulled back her hair. “Is there a current ruler in Hell? How does that work?”

“Well, Maze is my highest ranking demon, and she’s here too. I imagine Dad has someone else running it. I haven’t popped down lately, though I technically could since I have wings again.”

“Maze the bartender?”

Lucifer nodded while serving up a short stack and side of bacon. “Espresso?”

“Yes. Please.”

“Mazikeen is currently living with my partner as roommates. She comes back here from time to time when I need an extra hand downstairs. I end up owing her a favor though.”

Morning small talk was interrupted by a smartly dressed woman walking briskly out of the elevator doors and into Lucifer's apartment. 

“Ah! Speak of the partner of the Devil!”

The less than surprising scene of a woman enjoying breakfast greeted Chloe. Only slightly more surprising that she was in powder blue panties and nothing else. Morning sunlight streamed into the flat, bright on her back and red low lights in her hair. It was rare his company stayed through the night. 

Lucifer wore low-slung black silk pajama pants that showed off his torso to his best advantage, clinging to his hips like a lover. Dangerously low-slung. He stood at the business end of his stove, and the smell of sugary, lightly sizzling bread filled the air along with recently cooked bacon. Cooking bare-chested never seemed like a good idea but it didn’t look like it was bothering him. He stepped away a bit when she approached the kitchen.

Chloe’s choices were to stare at Lucifer’s lean attractive body, or the topless woman seated daintily on a kitchen stool. Her hair would have been long enough to cover her breasts but she had it tied back. Chloe opted for looking the ceiling for the moment.

“Detective!” He chirped. “Pancakes? I made extra.”

His company eyed the two of them and opted for not going out of her way to cover up. 

“I’ve had breakfast.” She crossed her arms and picked Lucifer to look at out of the two. The thin bed pants may as well have not been there. They showed off the outlines of his lean legs and.. Everything else. He was certainly not wearing anything under them. 

“How rude of me-Detective, this is Andy. Andy, Detective Chloe.” He gestured with a spatula. 

Andy ran her fingers through sleepy bangs and waved, crossing her long legs under the stool seat. “Hi, Chloe, Lucifer talked about you all night.”

“Well, not ALL night. This woman’s magical hands made me actually pass out. Can you believe it?” Lucifer took a sip of what had to be a screwdriver.

“Can I believe you passed out from sex? Oddly, yes. But-” Her blue eyes flicked down then settled on a massive pile of sheets on a table. 

Andy inhaled a bit of pancake and struggled to get it down.

Oblivious, Lucifer dropped more batter into the pan with a flourish. “No sex! She’s just amazing at rubbing people. Or at least me. Did you know you can spend an entire enjoyable night with a companion and NOT have sex?” He looked at her like he’d had a revelation.

Andy took a gulp of plain orange juice, carefully, watching the by-play.

Chloe rolled her eyes, without trying to hide it at all. Andy wisely had not attempted another bite yet. “Yes, actually. I was married to my ex-husband for years. But yes, there were quite a few nights no sex was had. On purpose.”

“Really? So you divorced because he wasn’t satisfying you?”

Andy unwisely had attempted to resume eating and bit her tongue.

Chloe breathed out slowly and pinched the bridge of her nose, mentally counting down. “No. Lucifer. We are not talking about Dan. Or me. Especially in front of - your guest.” She was trying very hard not to look at Andy. “Never mind. I came up to get you because I need your-” She glanced at Andy “Special talents. I have a suspect who won’t put out.”

“Oh, well, I don’t see what that has to do with police work but I’m sure I work my charms on them.”

Chloe narrowed her eyes, “Not that kind of put out.”

“Right. Either way, I’m sure I can help, but you usually call.”

Chloe raised her eyebrow significantly.

He glanced over his shoulder, giving Chloe an eyeful of Lucifer’s well defined ass and absolute lack of undergarments. The dark silk clung there too. She felt her face warming. He tapped the side of his phone. “Battery ran out. You can pray to me too. That works usually.”

Chloe gave a sigh of long-suffering. “Sure. Yeah. I’ll do that next time.” 

Andy was side-eyeing both of them now, fork paused in mid-air, apprehensive about trying to insert another mouthful, risking choking to death before she finished breakfast.

“Great! Let me get myself and my new friend dressed and fed, and I’ll be right over.”

The dark-haired woman looked both startled and pleased. Chloe wasn’t sure at which part. She turned to go, then looked back. “Lucifer? What happened to your scars?”

“Told you, got my wings back. Scars healed over or vanished or whatever.” He shrugged it off, turned out the last pancake and clicked off the stove top. 

She exchanged stares with Lucifer. “Right. Okay. See you down at the precinct. Nice to meet you, Andy.” She left, typing something on her phone. 

Oh shit. Andy found her own phone and waited for it to boot. Sherrie would probably barge in too herself if she didn’t check her messages and respond.

She looked over at Lucifer. “Praying to you works? Isn’t that a God thing?”

“Angels hear prayers too, but you have to be specific. You can pray to Michael, but I don’t recommend it. He can be prone to smite first and ask questions later.”

She finished off her breakfast, easily now without it going down her lungs. The blueberries were wonderful “Gabriel?”

“Total prick. Don’t expect a response.” He forked some pancake through a small lake of syrup. “Actually, most of them won’t these days.”

“But you would?”

“Rarely. Most prayers directed at me are full of petty vengeance and un-creative requests. Not worth acknowledging really. ” He looked thoughtfully at the elevator doors. “I don’t think Chloe's tried it yet.”

“You like her?”

“She won’t let me ‘in’ if you know what I mean. Only - well, other - woman who’s ever refused me.” Lucifer rinsed off their dishes, stacking them in the sink.

“Maybe she doesn’t want sex either...?”

“It’s not that. She showed up drunk once and attempted to bed me. Ended up parading about the apartment much like yourself. She’s quite striking naked, also much like yourself.” 

Andy couldn’t help feeling a little pleased at the compliment. “You turned her down?”

“Regretfully. She was well beyond tipsy. She would have punished herself over it.” Lucifer shrugged. “I suppose I should get going-the detective doesn’t like to be kept waiting. I keep a variety of nondescript clothes for, well, lovers in states such as yourself.”   


“Oh?”

“Coming up includes leaving. I wouldn’t want any part of that to be embarrassing. Especially if I want you to come back.”

Andy actually blushed. “You mean it?”

“Just not next weekend. Orgy and all, unless you’re at all into watching.” Lucifer dried his hands on a towel and looked a little hopeful.

“No, not at all. You have fun though.”

“Oh certainly.” He beamed.

Lucifer collected clean yoga pants (very versatile), shirt, sports bra and even a black bag for her dress. “Door will be open for you, I’ll let Maze know. Don’t forget to ask your friend about next weekend.”

Speaking of, Sherrie was over the moon with the pics from last night. She politely declined the orgy invitation however, after a longish pause. 


	6. Under construction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a few weeks of bliss, having the devil as a friend. Then something happens.
> 
> ETA: I'm taking this chapter down for now. I just don't like it and the plot may just ago away for the first set. All that said, I might come back and make it a series.

Re-editing


End file.
